We are all aware that parenting a child that is challenging our value system, and isn’t towing the line, to put it mildly, creates tremendous tension in the home on very many fronts.
Here at Family Veheishiv, besides for arranging regular chizuk events, to give us parents the much needed and much deserved respite albeit just for a few hours, to help us recharge out batteries, we are also committed to giving parents the much sought after guidance, to help them change their attitudes, strategies and tactics, in a way that will raise the chances of reclaiming the calmness and tranquility we always strived for. We cannot always change other people, their journeys, their choices, or their destinies, but we can become the calmest version of us possible, and allow the home to function optimally in the given situation. None of us want to be is survival mode we all deserve to be in thriving mode. On our holy mission we deserve the tools to rise to the occasion and become empowered by what we are doing.
We all have so many good legitimate worries, question and doubts, but in a whirl of uncertainty none of us can flourish. The is a well-trodden Torah true path to follow [based on over 3000 Torah sources], backed by Daas Torah throughout the generations, and each and every one of us parents who have been entrusted with a challenging child deserves to bask in the light of the one method that has proven itself beyond any other.
[A] Us parents go on a guilt trip, sometimes even embarking of a blame game, hurting even more the already vulnerable adults in the home.
[B] Protecting the other siblings become our primary focus, often neglecting the real issues, and aggravating an already explosive environment even more.
[C] We also feel that we MUST get this child back on track, and all the advice we have sought so far, from bribes to threats and punishments, blackmails to contracts, tough love, potions, energy healing, past life regression, kinesiology, magnets folded papers holding positive affirmations, rehabs, and dorms, but the situation seems to be going from bad to worse, is there really anything that we haven’t tried? Where do we go from here?
[D] How do we deal with the environment, neighbors, institutions, congregations, that may be seeing us with a far from pleasant eye. We can just about face ourselves, not so much have to face them all.
[E] Close or even more distant family members can be source to tremendous grief with well-meaning comments that do little other than act as daggers in our already bleeding hearts.
Just imagine how rejuvenating it would be, if after a few short months each and every one of these issues would have a clear approach, one that works for you, and your family, so that you can all heal and grow,
In my training I hope to encapsulate the experience I have amassed over 2 decades working with parents of / and struggling teens, to build and heal relationships in general and with a struggling child in particular.
Whilst and after being exposed to this course, you can expect your relationship with your spouse, children and most importantly yourself to reach new unprecedented levels of serenity, calmness and unconditional connection. You will have the tools to stay calm and make healthier choices even in the face of adversity and challenge.
What makes this course unique is its being based on thousands of Torah sources and they incorporate not only the superficial external needs of every human being but those of the spirit and soul too.
The course will be split into 2 phases, 8 sessions each. Each session will last two hours, and will be split into two. The first part focusing on the idea being shared, it’s sources, and understanding. The second part will be the practical application of what’s been learnt, and how to put it into practice in the home. During the course we will
In phase 1 we hope to cover the following topics:
1] Human needs: Every human being has basic survival needs, do we know what they are.
2] Trauma, what is it, how does it happen, and what does it do.
3] Analyzing the child: are we seeing the child, or symptoms. Is he bad or is something bad happening to him? The one answer to most of your questions. Changing our attitude.
4] Our basic approach in healing the trauma.
5] The DOS: recreating association and attachment to and with the child.
6] The DON’TS: all the things we have an urge to do, but mustn’t.
7] Confusing his brain, forcing him to create a new narrative of us. Watch and take note of any progress. Effecting his neshomo directly from ours.
8] Protecting the other vulnerable siblings
In phase two we hope to cover the following topics: [registration and payment for the second course will start towards the end of the first course]
9] What’s happening to YOU? What does the situation mean ABOUT YOU?
10] Is OUR narrative neglecting OUR basic needs?
11] What might be going on in the child’s life? 20 reasons good people do bad things.
12] Dealing with our surroundings.
13] Emunah, Bitochon and the difference between them, and how to practically apply them as an aid. giving up, giving in, giving over.
14] Focusing on what’s unique about your child even in his present situation
15] Indirectly recreating a healthy support system for the child.
16] Sholom Bayis, is it being compromised, and can you induce healing.
Hundreds of parents can attest to the value these ideas have added to their homes and situations. Many have seen miraculous change from the change of attitude, even before the tactics and strategies have been practiced for any length of time.
You owe this to yourself, your child, your spouse and your family.
Just go to www.veheishiv.com and fill in the registration form [if you don’t have internet access please shoot me an email and I’ll send you the form via email]. FOR NOW, THE REGISTRATION IS ONLY FOR THE FIRST COURSE [registration and payment for the second course will start towards the end of the first course].
When: The courses will take place on Sunday evenings [hopefully starting 21st Shevat – 12th February- depending on registration] and 21:00 Israeli time / 19:00 English time / 14:00 EST.
Where: For those wishing to come to my home in Kiryat Sefer with light refreshments, you are most welcome, however if you wish to hear the course from the comfort of your cars / homes / offices I will accommodate for that too and You’ll receive a ZOOM link.
Cost: I am keeping the price very very low and the full price of the course is 1500 Shekel. It’s very important that both parents go through the course so I am not charging extra for the second parent.
Early bird discount: Those who fill in the form before 15th Shevat / 6th February will get a 10% reduction.
IF BOTH PARENTS listened to the course, they will also get a 15% reduction off the first two hours of private consultation.
Once the form has been received you will receive a list of safe and easy to use payment options.
How: fill in the registration form at the bottom of this page.
Q. My child has moved out of the house, is there any point in joining your course?
A. Sure. With the many understandings and tried and tested tools you will iy”h bring them back home.
Q. Me and my spouse really don’t see eye to eye about our struggling child should we join your course even before we have resolved one issue?
A. absolutely. The course will help you resolve your issues and bring your relationship to the next level, besides for helping your struggling child find his way back.
Q. I understand that some kids get hurt and that’s why they spiral out of control, but in my case WE have made so many mistakes, I really don’t see much hope in change, should we invest in your course?
A. I’m not a business advisor, but seems like a good investment. We will learn [primarily in course II] how to deal with shame, guilt, and forgiveness, so that we can be a great solution, even if we were part of the problem.
Q. We have a great relationship with out child; our main issue is with the environment we live in, and the old school chinuch my in-laws insist of practicing, but they won’t join your course, is there any point us joining?
A. I hope you will be able to share the ideas you will learn with your in-laws and make a shift with them [It has worked many times in the past].
Q. The time you are giving the course doesn’t work for us – we live in Australia – do you have a solution for us?
A. for the 7 days after each session, I hope to have a link where the session can be reviewed.
Q. I don’t have internet access, but I heard about your course, how can I join?
A. If you let me know where you live, I’ll try to pair you up with another set of parents [obviously with their prior permission] who live nearby you, so that you can join with them.
Q. I sometimes find it hard to remember so much information, is there any point on me joining?
A. Yes. Firstly, the information will be less important than the attitude shift you can expect during the session. Secondly, I am hoping to compile summary sheets that will be distributed after each session.
Q. I understand that years of experience has gone onto this course, and it is self-understood that no recordings will be shared, however is it ok to share what you have taught with others?
A. Firstly, thank you for your sensitivity, and understanding. Secondly, of course you can / should share the ideas, but keep in mind that small nuances in the way ideas are shared can make a huge difference to the way they are received, so whilst it’s great to share chizuk, I’d encourage you to get other parents to who need this to join, and hear the full course. [I’ll give you an example; hear the difference between “I wasn’t feeling well and I asked the Rabbi if I need to fast on Yom Kippur, and he said ‘no way’”, and “I have a serious heart condition, and the Rabbi said that in my particular case I mustn’t fast on Yom Kippur”. Technically, both statements are correct, but the first can lead to serious misunderstandings].
Q. If we have any questions after the session, will there be any platform where we can contact you to clarify some points?
A. Sure. My email is waiting for all and any type of contact. My WhatsApp is also available +972522170522.
Q. with the passage of time, I imagine that we will need an extra dose of chizuk, how will we get that?
A. great question. We hope to get together with all those who have finished the course, every few months [depending on demand] to give and get chizuk, ask their questions, and share their journeys and successes. [I also hope you’ll join us for the general chizuk gatherings where other – yet untrained – parents will join, so that you can show them where this painful journey can really take us, and how much hope there really is.
Q. I’ve been to courses in the past and they sometimes stretch longer then first planned, are these sessions under time pressure?
A. As the courses progress we may realize that some sessions need to be split into two, and the course might take a few weeks longer than expected [No extra charge].